Dating Personals for Gays

If you are on the look out for gay dating personals, then look no further. Gay club offers you one of the largest adult dating gay site with thousands of profiles for you to meet gay dating singles for fun, friendship, relationships, love and romance.

Gay dating men in general are very friendly, easy to approach and are most welcomed in the community. However, there are times when it can be a little difficult to meet that someone special or expand your circle of friends. With the up rise of internet dating, one can meet gay singles with ease and comfort, avoiding any embarrassments and awkward situations. This service will definitely make you feel most welcome!

With over 140,000 registered members online, there is surely something for everyone. Our advanced search facilities will allow you to find the right person and contact them at your own comfort. The gay dating personals on this site have all been verified by our staff to ensure that you have a great chance of meeting someone who is genuine. The best part, membership and chat are free.

To get started, follow the simple registration steps and create your own personalized profile. Make sure it is creative, list your likes and dislikes, and who you would like to meet. If you see any sexy men that are of interest to you, be sure to let them know and make use of the free chat rooms made available. For any complications, there is email staff to help you out.

With all that said, join the thousands already online and look to meet gay singles in style, ease and comfort.

More To Gay Life Than Sex

Are all gay men just superficial disco bunnies with only one thing on their minds? The mass media would certainly have you believe that is so, and with figure heads such as Boy George and Julian Clary, who can blame the public for going along with this idea. Of course, straight acting gay men are just harder to detect. So homophobes continue with their prejudices and the 21st century, thinking gay man gets very lonely wondering where all the men like him are! How, then, do intelligent professional gay men meet each other? There are thousands of clubs and pubs, dating agencies and personal ads for cruising purposes, but it can be extremely difficult to meet professional gay friends for purely social purposes, where a deeper relationship may develop. This is where the gay dining club comes to the rescue. I recently tried Out & Out, London's longest established dining club for professional gay men and was amazed at how civilized an evening with 40 gay men could be.

Out & Out was started by the disarmingly charming and truly scrumptious Julia Melinek. Eleven years ago, opera singer Julia (she's sung Madam Butterfly for English National Opera) and fellow warbler, Mark Glanville (more recently the author of best ? selling book The Goldberg Variations) realised that they were so good at organising dinner parties for gay colleagues that they might as well do it professionally. As Out & Out, they booked a stand at a Gay lifestyle exhibition at Earl's Court and pretty much became an instant success. Today they're the biggest dining club for professional gay men in the UK, with a membership that sometimes hits a thousand. They are not just another gay dating service in London. Through the gay dining club format, members can meet new friends, network professionally and chat without any of the posing and cruising obligations of the scene.

How did they do it? Professional fag hag (it's her description) Julia reckons that, as far as social skills are concerned, "you're born that way." But she likens her table ? hopping duties at Out & Out functions to those of the circus plate spinner, forever dashing to give the plate at the end another twirl. Having seen her in action, I can confirm that, like the guy with the plates, she performs apparently effortlessly. But what is it with Julia and gay men? "There's a special relationship between straight women and gay men," she explains. "It's like the girlie friendship, opposite sexes getting on with each other without the sexual tension." The personal touch extends to communications with the Out & Out office. There are no mail-shots. Julia and Mark can spend eight hours a day on the phone, telling members about upcoming lunches and dinners, plus other events including theatre visits, foreign trips and boat cruises. Clearly the label ?Gay Dining Club' only reveals part of the picture as members use the club for professional networking purposes, expanding their social horizons, debates, message posting and of course, inevitably, for gay dating.

But, ultimately, is it all about sex? Surprisingly, no. "It's far less a sexual thing than the scene," says Julia. I accepted an invitation to the gallery bar of the Cross Keys, a beautiful old pub in Chelsea, where Out & Out celebrated Valentine's Day. The mix of men was much as Julia had described, all ages, classes and races, but "the common denominator is intelligence, those who enjoy a dinner party atmosphere as opposed to posing and cruising."

After a 17 year relationship broke up, lawyer David T found it very difficult to "let loose" again. "In the bars I was very conscious of being older," he told me, "but here, as you can see, the age range is very wide." At Out & Out he has made a lot of gay friends, some men he now sees independently. What about romance? None as yet. David feels that Out & Out is primarily a social group. But then I met David L and William R who have been together for three years after meeting at an Out & Out function. "Jules is very good at judging," said David. "She sits people next to each other if she thinks they're going to get on. With us, she got it right." "I didn't want a gay dating agency when I joined Out and Out," said William "I was far more interested in networking with professional gay men and meeting new friends....but then I met David, and the rest is history!"

Now David is trying to get William to County Hall! "We'll invite Mark and Jules," David promised.

Authenticity And The Gay Identity

Many years ago, when I worked in education, I spent my summers directing outdoor park district activities for kids. The children would come from the neighborhood to play various games. One year I recall a teenage boy coming to the park with a desire to talk with me. He would attend a youth group at his church (which was located nearby) and then meander over to the park facility. At some point in our conversation, he told me that he was gay and that he felt ashamed as a result his church's anti-gay sentiment. He felt very alone because he had told no one in his youth group of his sexual orientation. His parents were not informed, and would have been mortified had they known of his gay identity. Each time he came to the park we would talk about his struggles with being gay. Because I had trained student leaders to work with the park kids, I was able to devote some attention to this troubled young man. This was my first exposure in conversing with an individual who professed to be gay. I learned a great deal about a segment of society that played out their lives in agonizing silence.

I learned that gay people, like other minorities, are used to being stereotyped. Those of us who are straight, perceive gays to be effeminate, flamboyant, impulsive and artsy. Most of the gay people I have met do not fit that pattern. They typically feel isolated because their behavioral patterns are actually heterosexual in nature with the exception of their sexual affinity toward others of the same sex.

With the advent of multicultural thinking, gays are beginning to feel more comfortable and accepted. Their level of confidence affects their relationships and style of relating to the world. The acknowledgment of being gay takes supreme courage. The odds have been stacked against those who choose to make their gay identity known. Many adults, now in midlife, are just beginning to acknowledge their true sexual identity. With such exploration comes the awareness that 'I feel a stronger sexual connection with those of the same sex.' Such a realization may signal the emergence of terror ' I am not who I pretended to be.'

When you listen to the stories of those who are gay, you get a sense of the conflict and tension they have experienced in their struggle to be authentic. Most have known from an early age that they felt different about their sexual identity. In an attempt to conceal their feelings and behavior, many gays worked feverishly at removing any vestiges of gay traits from their behavior.

Adolescence is a difficult time of turmoil for most youngsters. Add to that the issue of sexual identification and it certainly makes the process of navigating adolescence that much more strenuous. Many schools are afraid to acknowledge their gay students and provide little or no support for those in need. Ideological and political pressures play a role in keeping school administrators and school board members from stepping up to the plate in support for gay youth.

In my professional counseling practice, I have personally witnessed the anguish and conflict experienced by those individuals who have professed to be gay. I have also observed the courage that many patients have demonstrated in the process of emerging from their silence over their sexual orientation. Learning to be authentic is an important component of counseling and to honestly identify one's sexual identity may be apart of that process.

Although there is little evidence to support its efficacy, many counselors surprisingly continue to espouse reparative treatment for gay clients. Counselors, who many times disguise their intentions, choose to subscribe to the archaic notion that sexual orientation is a learned pattern or choice rather than a lifelong identity. Reparative therapy views the gay individual as disordered and in need of transformation. Generally, counselors who conduct reparative therapy for gays look for deep-seated traumas as a causative factor in the 'identity conflict' of those they serve.

Counselors who insist on touting reparative therapy for gays typically maintain their own biases regarding homosexuality. They carry these biases into treatment and negatively affect the self-worth and integrity of those they serve. Their insistence in curing gays creates a climate of self-doubt and defectiveness among those they treat.

Many in the religious community are unable to reconcile their beliefs and faith and are reluctant to identify with those who define themselves as being gay. This fact causes many gays to reject their faith or live in a constant state of religious conflict. Years ago, a friend of mine decided to spend a weekend of solace at a religious retreat center. This was to be a time of isolation and reflection. However, her time quickly took on a new meaning. Gay men from churches throughout the country flew into this retreat center. Many of them were board members, elders, and pastors of their congregations. No one knew of their sexual orientation with the exception of the hundreds of Christian colleagues who met at this retreat center to worship together once a year. Every year, these men got together in the freedom of their true identity and worshiped God. They talked with my friend, expressing their sense of liberation and love for the God they embraced. My friend said it was a moving experience as she was asked to join them in their religious services which were filled with energy and passion.

Denial is a dangerous thing. Those who choose to ignore their true sense of self pay a price for their own personal deception. It takes courage to live with the way things really are. There are pitfalls along the way, but it is more honest and authentic. Those in the gay community have the right to define themselves the way they wish. Unfortunately, for openly gay people, there are consequences for living with an identity they did not choose.

How To Pick Up A Gay Guy?

Sitting at the corner of a party, feeling lonely and looking around, you must have guessed 'is the flamboyantly dressed guy with twinkle toes gay?'

Contemplating to pick up a gay guy of your type and already feeling butterflies in the stomach? But, the process of picking up is not that difficult and nerve-wracking one, as it has been perceived to be. You may not be a natural seducer like some other gay men, but that must not prevent you from trying your hands at picking up men. If you follow our guidelines minutely, you will be game for it!

Come let's share the tricks.

Suppose, you get besotted with the charming guy whom you have just come across in the bar or club. Your heart has already started beating for him!!! What are you going to do now? Here are some valuable tips?

First of all, making eye contact is really important. If, in any case, he doesn't notice you, do something (possibly, dancing, singing or cracking a joke) that will catch his attention instantaneously. But, beware, don't create a scene or make a fool out of yourself. That may lead to negative consequences.

Giving him a fleeting look over and again is welcome, but ogling at him at a stretch can be irritating. An interested person will surely return your glances and that makes your job half done.

A slight shy smile of yours can follow his fleeting glimpses. All these make the process of picking up more exciting.

Once you become sure that the person is interested, you can go straight to him and talk. If the guy is partying with his friends, please don't forget to utter 'Excuse me' to him and his friends before talking. You are advised to just pass by him, in case, you are feeling too shy to talk to him in front of others. While going by, give him such signals that the chap gets lured to talk to you at a corner place of the room.

Once he comes closer to you, your duty is to introduce yourself. You may ask him his name, where he lives, his occupation and other necessary details. Just kick-start a proper conversation.

Next, you can invite him to the dance floor or offer him a drink along with pizza. Never get panicky and talk and behave as naturally as possible. Going over the top and showing artificial emotions unnecessarily can be a major put off. Don't get disheartened if he is not willing to dance with you, maybe he is as nervous as you are.

Say that you had a great time talking to him. Exchanging mobile numbers and e-mail IDs will be great. Once he gives you a call (maybe the same night, the next day or few days later), you can be sure that you are succeeded in picking up the gay guy of your dreams. Now it's your turn to congratulate yourself, because you have made it!!!

Some other essential tips

The aspect of physical charisma can never be ignored. You may not be an Adonis, but dressing up in neat and clean clothes and putting on some make-up can sometimes create sheer magic.

Besides working on your appearance, you have to enhance your social skills as well. How you walk and how you talk surely does matter. Otherwise, the chance of succeeding in picking up your man becomes less.

The more you approach and meet different types of guys, the more you become adept in the game. You are required to come out of your shell. Being shy and introvert can't give you much in this field. Brush up your conversational proficiency.

The terms hesitation and nervousness should not be there in your dictionary. These traits cannot take you anywhere. For coming up with flying colors in the game of seduction, you have to put all your inhibitions behind bar.

Try to start up conversations in a decent note. Keep yourself away from cheesy and horny pick-up lines. These things can easily turn one off.

Say something that can keep him engrossed. You can express your preferences with essential inputs like 'That guy was a real hunk' etc. These references are vital in keeping your discussion going.

Give him time to develop attraction for you. You should neither force yourself on him nor make gratuitous sexual overtones.

Give him compliments, but don't get overboard with them. You should never sound like a fake.

All your gestures and postures are supposed to be in a measured way. Make the values within you evident. Keep away from meaningless talking. Try to show him your sense of humor. Narrate the joyous moments you have spent with your ex-boyfriends. By any means, you have to bring forward all your good qualities.

Fleeting touches often create wonders. But, crossing the limit of decency can mar your whole process of picking up.

If your guy turns out to be straight and has made his preferences clear to you, there's no need to stretch your conversation anymore. Nothing is worse than creating pressure on a straight guy for getting into a relationship.

Hope, now you have understood the ways of picking up your man? So, why are you wasting anymore time? Let's embark on the exhilarating adventure and have fun!